I kept walking up. It didn’t matter if I was thisclose to sleeping, I always woke up.
The first time it was because of my backpack. I scrambled out of bed to make sure I had everything I needed for the next day. I took everything out, laid it on the floor, checked to make sure everything was there, and then, put everything back.
The second time was an online submission I made hours ago. I couldn’t even change anything if I wanted to. Yet I still opened up the online portal, typed in my password, opened the submission document, made sure everything was in order, and closed my laptop.
The third time was because I had to use the restroom. I rushed out of bed and went to the bathroom, only to sit on the seat for 6 minutes because my body decided it didn’t need to go after all.
The fourth time was when I had a nightmare that I got a 50% on the test I had taken yesterday. I got my phone, checked my grades, and put it away.
The fifth time was when I though I had forgot to set my alarm correctly. Again, I opened my phone, when to the clock app, checked my alarms, set and reset them, and put my phone away.
The sixth time resulted in me just staying up the whole night. Worrying didn’t seem to ever end. I didn’t know if I had done anything correctly. I didn’t even have the confidence to believe I had done something right. I didn’t have the assurance that what I did was enough, if it was ever enough. Define enough.